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It’s no secret that sports has been a part of my life for since I was a child. The love of athletics has now shifted over to my children. They both have played sports where they excelled and also tested their dedication. As a mother I try so hard to focus on their work ethic and their determination versus performance. You see, being a sports mom you have to differentiate what you chose to focus on. Although I do not sugar coat their performance, I always look for the positive in any situation!
I have kept my mouth shut about coaches, screaming parents and politics of a league. Why? My husband is a board member to 2 different league in our area. He has been a coach for several years and put this heart and soul into a ballpark to better the community in a whole. I’m not sure if parents understand what goes into running a ballpark or coaching a youth sports team? I’m here to tell you, it’s not easy!
My husband is an electrician & works outside and inside in SE Louisiana heat. His sweat, calloused hands and 42 year old back support our family every week. He rushed home from work early (which equals less pay) in order to pick our daughter up from Volleyball practice every week. I rush home from work at 5p.m to pick up our son at aftercare. My husband warms up the food that I precooked so that our family can eat together every night as a family before they head out to the ballpark for practice. I clean the kitchen then either work on my blog, do house chores or bring my teen daughter to volunteer at the concession stand at practice so the park can earn a few extra dollars. After 8p.m everyone heads home to get cleaned up and ready for school the next day. When my husband gets home he is constantly texting parents with updates, texting coaches on play changes, player swaps and so forth. When everyone leave after a game, coaches are still there organizing equipment, cleaning out water coolers, ice chest and throwing away the water bottles and Powerade bottles that your child drank today. P.S THE Coaches also paid for it!! They are also helping other coaches out, talking with parents and watching other teams play so they can learn plays that another may have for next week. Sunday or Holidays volunteers work at the ballpark to beautify, repair or replace materials needed so that YOUR child can be safe practicing every week.
Why am I telling you this?
One day my husband & I were discussing player’s parents. Who was unhappy, who was late for the game, who got their feelings hurt their son didn’t have “enough” playtime etc. He mentioned an impolite text so I asked to read it.
The mother had written a text like this: IN ALL CAPS FULL OF EXPLANATION POINTS!!!!!
Then another parents got upset that no one was responding to her text from 15 minutes ago. Really? People, these coaches work for a living. They can not text you instantly.
I sit on the bleachers and listen to parents complaining about the coaches when the team is losing, yet when their child makes a great play they are hooting and hollering. To me, it is disrespectful to criticize the coaches especially in front of family members just because your child did not play in the 1st quarter. Don’t scream to your child on the field to ask his coach when he is going in? They are not 5 years old!! They will play but why not wait to see what happens before you become irate.
Parents: Choose your words wisely. Understand that children see your behavior and become divided in the situation. It is their team, their friend and their coaches. If a child is having fun and learning isn’t that what youth sports is supposed to be about?
Is you child getting yelled at?
Berated in public?
Put in a dangerous situation?
Mothers: Just because you are a female, do not send TEXT THAT LOOK LIKE THIS TO A COACH!!!!
You don’t sleep with him. He is not your husband. Treat a coach with respect, the same as you would want for your own husband.
Keep it classy people! If you have concerns let the coach know your concerns and what you would like addressed. Give them the respect that you both deserve so that any situation can be handled properly. Have they neglected your feelings? Then go through the appropriate channels so they can medicate a situation.
Most importantly: If coaching were easy, why don’t you do it next year?
Parents of players can be crazy! I think coaches are wonderful especially the ones volunteering their spare time. I respect the work they do because I know I couldn’t do it. I totally agree with the All caps text, people need a lesson in polite texting!
Great post! I think as parents we sometimes forget! I’m usually yelling at my kids for sitting on the field picking flowers because I hate that they are wasting the coaches time! lol
Hi Jenn, If they are picking flowers then they are young and no one has expectations. As they get older is when the craziness happens. We had a parent reference the Pro’s coaching staff. Pro’s, seriously? lol
Thankfully that is not us. We are just glad when my son doesn’t leave the field! We actually just tried football today and he made it through the sprints and we think we may have a sport he is going to stick with! If I didn’t just jinx it.
thanks!
Mitch
I am coaching soccer this year! Now you have me nervous!!! Hope the parents are not like this. Not good at all!!!
Kristen, you will do fine! We have never had a problem until this year. It depends on the parents. It takes 1 parents to ruin an experience. Positive attitude goes a long way & I am sure you will have a successful year. The friendships we have made through coaching (or by having a a great coach) is amazing!
I totally know where you are coming from, in the past my hubbie ran a football team and put every spare moment into running it and did everything he could for each player. I do think parent/guardians/friends forget this or simply do not realise what unpaid commitment it takes. As a parent I understand you take your childs activities to heart and want the best for them just need to remember the above. He now coaches in cricket and running a lot better than the footie side of things x
I always looked forward for the day when my daughter got older to get her involved in sports, but she never had interest. She is a book worm. But I totally get your point, as I see my nieve struggling with this and her kids.
I don’t think I would have the patience to coach. So many parents feel their children are entitled, not sure why. It is great that you and your husband are so involved. It takes a special few to have the ability to coach.
I guess I am classified as a sensitive person.. so when I see coaches or players screaming at others it really bothers me.. no sense to yell to get the point across :-).
You are 100%! But if your child isn’t bring yelled at, why would a parent create anxiety by yelling at a coach via text or criticizing while on the bleachers in front of your family?
I was just thinking this Saturday as I watch my 9 year old play soccer for the first time & listened to the parents around me. It made me embarrassed.
I coached t-ball for 7 years before we moved (dunno if I’ll coach here, this area seems worse than where we were before with this)…..we as coaches do it for free. We teach them to the best of our ability. We love helping children discover a love for the game.
To treat someone that is giving a gift to our children like a dog is unacceptable. Yet they do it anyway :/
It takes 1 parent to ruin the experience just as 1 bad coach ruins a child spirit. There has to be a balance on both sides. What gets me is the rude text. What gives anyone the right to be rude or disrespectful in a text or in front of a person? Don’t parents and coaches realize that children do as they see? Sometimes you just can’t win & I don’t mean that in the sports sense. I just try to keep my mouth shut!
great post! My boys do football and soccer.
I’m not sure why people feel they can go off at or about coaches like that. They’re human beings and definitely deserve respect. Too many people have entitlement issues!
Great post! I have seen so many parents go off on many coaches and it makes me so mad. Just sit back and enjoy the game and for the love of God be respectful to the coaches and kids!
My kids don’t play in community sports for multiple reasons: “soccer moms”, bad coaches who only play “the best players” and parents who yell and scream. My oldest son is actually very sports oriented and always one of the best on the team. But my heart breaks seeing the same kids sit game after game in tears because the coach won’t play them. THEN there’s the “witchy” parents that act like it’s some “Cheerleader” club again and only certain moms can be part of it. Most moms wont even speak to you, they are just rude. I make friends everywhere I go, so again for me this is a huge issue watching mother’s and fathers being excluded. And the yelling. The last team my son was on the coach literally yelled and shouted, cussing the whole time at the players. I put my foot down. No more sports. I am not breaking the bank for someone to yell and scream at my son and everyone else’s to “motivate them” I can get amazing results as a school teacher motivating kids, and never rais my voice.
Well said!
I fully agree! Our school district has a very strict behavior policy that applies to everyone across the board. If parents become unruly in the crowd or just in general they are asked to leave the event or if at practice they are not allowed to attend the next event, if it happens again they receive a five game ban, a third time their child is pulled from the next game getting no play time, a fourth time and they are banned from events for the entire year and if during that year there is another incident their child is no longer allowed to participate in the sport.
My dad always coached my sports and I loved it! Nice to have a coach and father as your biggest supporter!
I totally understand what you’re saying. I am a teacher and often go to school sporting events. It’s really sad how many parents let it all fly in front of the kids. They must have no idea how immature they seem!